COUNTING

From where I sit this morning, I can see several things that count.

• On the wall in front of my desk I have an array of beautiful objects collected over travels.


• Outside, the sky is lightening in the east, early morning turning into today.


• I hear birds calling to each other.

One, two, three. Three blessings already this morning. My husband working at his desk across the room, that's four. My dog sleeping on the couch nearby--five. The list keeps growing and it's not even seven o'clock yet.

We are often directed to count our blessings by well meaning people. When it's a command, it feels like the equivalent of "shut up." It can leave us in a lonely place.

But the practice of counting blessings is transformative when it's initiated by our very own hearts.

Change What You Count
I have increased the joy in my life--or at least, raised my awareness of what was always there--by changing what I count. I used to count my worries. Will I have enough X? You know X. Sometimes he's money, sometimes he's time. He can also be love, opportunity, courage--whatever it is that lets our anxiety bubble out. So I would count X. I have this many dollars so I can do or not do what I want. I have this much time. I counted perceived slights and held on to those quite tenderly.

It was not fun. It did not make me happy nor did it feel good. It created a false notions that certain conditions must be obtained before happiness can be mine.

Here's the thing. I am happy. Not every day, not all the time. But as a rule, I'm pretty happy. So I knew on some level that it did not depend on any of the Xs in my life. It was mine to enjoy at any moment, if I simply turned my attention to those things that remind me of my joy.

Like the shift of light at sunrise, the presence of my beloved nearby, the comfort of my canine friend snoozing lightly on a pillow.

That's why I count joys now. I look for them everywhere I go. Walking down a busy, ugly street, I'll decide which car colors are prettiest. Sitting in a dull meeting at work, I admire the intelligence of my co-workers or wonder at the marvel of all these bodies whose cells know exactly what to do. Blessings abound, and the more I tune into them, the more they slip into my consciousness and transform my day.

So today, notice what you're counting. And if the balance tips toward painful, anxiety-producing items, see what else there is to count. Start with small things and go from there.